I wish I could dance under the starlight; hide my head in layers of tulle, wish life was as light as the layers of my skirt as I swirl around dreaming of a better life, a novel-like romance and me and you dancing under stars and moon being poets living in the moment. But I know I'll never have that.

The sullen waves carress my feet as I walk out into the sea. Wading through the seaweed, I feel the sand escaping me with the water. Embrace me, dark black depths and hold me until I sleep. My hair shall cover me as I descend into my watery kingdom.

I've seen paradise in the gardens of Yaffa, surrounded by lush green, palm trees freely giving of their shade, blossoms of all kind blooming, the joyous sounds of a wedding drifting over the rich meadows, and a soft breeze from the turquoise sea freshening up the embrace of the gentle warmth of a winter sun.

Out of the darkness, flaming touch, the gentle whispers of twilight, softly carressing ancient souls. Oh, if the dreadful day would end already.

Night tarries, the moon is dancing with me over the starry sky. Let me feed you its milk, feel the magic rush through your blood, burning your heart. The fires have been great which I danced upon and greater shall be their smoke.

The wind mourns a lost love, someone’s sweetheart from long ago. The wind doesn’t mourn me. Looking out into the dark night from my cold and lonely windowsill at 2 am. I wait for my soul to wander and meet the childish me and remind her of the darkness. Maybe she can be saved. The sea calls to me and yearns for me. A thousand miles away I can hear her wailing for me, waiting to drag me into her depths. I used to be a little child, I didn’t play with fire then, I didn’t burn myself. But I started running and I found the cage and the child in me has changed. I began to dream and to cut the branches of my dreams, to grow new ones until the forest fires came. Nights are lonely without stars. And my windowsill is so high up. If the clouds could catch me and carry me away to halcyon dimensions. And I love life and I hate life and the world is spinning so fast. In the dark and night I can hear them cry. Silently. All the lost souls, cryin

out of the night rattling rustling shadows climb the ivy lichen walls blood spills out of my mouth like red wine staining white linens the lights of the night sky burn themselves into my chest burning out the pain of breathing Paint me with your fist, Paint me with your knife, Make the trembling voice stop, Silence the quivering lips let me be one with shadows of the night

Dissolve in blissfulness. As I close my eyes I see: the whole world is small and the future is bleak. A million white flowers drift around me and we become stars, shining on forever. And my mind dwells in the peaceful pastures of the past, the only way to live is to let them return, the halcyon days, childish innocence, before the world became scary. I look over my shoulder: I see the one home I have known, the small room in my mother’s house, ever changing, but always the same. Memory won’t leave me, my only faithful friend. Homesickness takes over when traveling becomes the same old, when new countries lose their excitement, and when it gets hard to become rooted. I lose myself in all this. I lose my identity and I forget who I am and why I am. And with a lullaby of death I return to times before a purpose. I travel far, back to the halcyon dimension, magical realm, happiness and blissfulness. The days of wandering are over. I have retu

My heart is bleeding moon. Whence have I sunk since the beginning of time? The ancient ruins of babylon have enticed my mortal soul. Break me free from the light, the shining brightness, and shelter me in darkness.

Stare of city lights, weary, warm and gentle golden orbs shining homely along my way. 10 pm, weekdays. Streets are almost empty, a lazy gust of wind cools the darkness of night. City lights are mirrored in the slow black river, pitch black, moving lazily, like thick molasses, like oil. And my hollow body climbs the bridge and drowns itself in the pitch black darkness, feeling the cold water touching my naked skin and clothing me in thick blackness. Filling the emptiness. And everything ends, every open door closes, each breath could be your last, you could turn a corner and everything could end. So I let the river fill me, fill me with its river soul, because the river has no end.

There are objects out in the sun in the wide open. Look for shelter from the stinging rays. Insanity is my safe haven. Float and swim and drift out of your mind outside the universe.

Through the blue veil of heavy rain a new day is starting clouds come and go psychic fogs and puddles mirror the grey days. It's rain season.

Doesn't the truth seem grey in the naked light? All the bruises, all the cuts - all exposed and in the open naked light. What did you think when you took the knife, carved me into your skin, so pale in this naked light? No more rest, since you started wearing me on your skin and we are one in the naked light.

Your eyes are the moon, haunting. Waxing and waning, roaming the earth mercilessly. What did you see? What turned your skin blue, what made your lips quiver? Where is the time that was trapped between your toes? Your hands cut into my soul. Where is this salvation coming from? No trace of human life - overrated. The worms are feeding on your brain, but they'll never get to your mind. This cold and restless mind, racing infinitely, emanating strange and cruel dreams, nightmarish, like the stare in your eyes. Don't you ever sleep anymore?

The moon calls with the wind through the hollow night. Soft steps echoing quietly, heavily, as newspapers are blown across the street. Traffic lights change, moving the serene night and freezing it again. One step further - into another world, starlit sky and cruel kisses. Dark figures roam the street in your head. Wind moves the world, strong storms, houses dissolve and fall to the ground heavily. A knife shines in the silver moonlight, a smile under a street lantern. No one around but her. Soft steps, marching with doom, world dissolving. Her heart impaled by the flying street-lantern.

Dark of night, the embrace of the earth, trees hiding me. The horizon is endless, the waves carry me out to infinity. I lose myself in the vastness of the world.

Incoming. Waves of sunlight, red, hot, blinding, cutting like a laser. Five minutes of hell. The cold blue night engulfs again.

In the middle of the storm the wind carries soft voices. Maybe it's not over yet. Maybe the sun will kiss us one last time when we walk into moonlight; along winding promenades of sand of time; backpacking through the dying universe.

The night is always dark, but lately, the days have become dark as well, pitch-black in my mind. And I can't move except for one motion. I can't see and I can't breathe. I talk to the voices in my head until my blood boils, my insides boil and I cast this despicable being aside. There will be blood in the water tonight.

The days are coming and going. I lie down in the middle of the hallway, wondering about life. And the voices come and go. Please shut up. I want to look at the stars in silence. Don't look at me, don't look at the stars, because I don't want you to see my reflection. I'm afraid.