Where Have I Gone Wrong?

Where have I gone wrong
this time?
Why are you leaving
like the rest of them?

I've known it for a long time,
loneliness has been tugging
at the threads
holding my heart together.

I didn't want to see,
and I still don't want to.
Would rather scratch out
my teary eyes
than face this reality again.

Why can't I just stay alone,
instead of getting hope
and being dropped
from the heights of my mind
again and again,
until I'm forgotten forever.

I don't understand
why I am this way.

Why do I keep losing myself?
Have I ever found myself
or was it all just illusions,
something you wanted me to believe
until it didn't suit you anymore?

Why did you make me think
I could fly,
when my wings were too weak
to carry me across the sky?
Why did you let me fall
into this endless abyss?

But in the end...
was it really you
that did all this?
Or was it me after all?
I've always known
it would be me.
I just didn't want to
see it,
hear it,
feel it.

And time just keeps flowing
and life mercilessly goes on,
but I forgot where my place
in this existence was,
I forgot how to live
and who I am.

Maybe I am no longer
a part of this world,
maybe I am beginning to fade,
but I know
I have to see this through
to the end
and hope
that I won't be forgotten
in the endless winds
of time.

I have to push on
until I find
what I was looking for,
until I can find
my place in this world,
a way to stay in people's memories,
to be someone
even without you.